I can only liken my experience as a female chef cooking in a 3-star Parisian restaurant to that difficult time in America when women were starting to make a presence in the military.There is a hierarchy in the French kitchen, just like the army, and they don’t know how women should fit in – do they treat us like dogs and yell at us point blank the way they do with the young men to toughen us up? Do they flirt with us and just enjoy the fact that we’re there to brighten the eleven hour work day? Do they resent us because we’re screwing up the system? What do they do?
Then there’s the reverse question – what should I do? Do I take the sexual humor as a joke and let it roll off? Do I put forth my best butch impression and try and be one of the boys? Do I play off the fact that I am a women so I don’t have to do all the icky work? Do I dare show talent and determination?
Of course, I am who I am, there’s no changing that, but how to fit into an ingrained system that is not quite sure about whether or not women are acceptable? I find this more challenging than even the French/English language barrier.
The restaurant kitchen is not set up for women at all. There is one toilet by the chef’s dressing room that doesn’t lock and isn’t clean and we can’t use the bathrooms in the restaurant. All chefs are expected to change in one locker room that has no privacy. No one is supposed to wear their uniform in or out. However, I live a block away, so I’ve decided to forgo that rule.
I’m not shy, but I don’t feel like giving 36 young men a sneak peak and then having to work with them in the kitchen. Even the way the day is set up, working from 8:30 AM – 11 P.M. with a two hour break in the middle, provides a barrier for any woman who might want a family.
I would say that most of the chefs really enjoy female presence in the kitchen and even though they aren’t quite sure how to behave around me yet, they want to make it work. I think I have proved my self-worth to the point that I now am heaped with prep work.
I do have restaurant experience, so I’m not completely a deer caught in the headlights, and I think that shows in the speed in which I can whip through tasks. However, I feel that I have to prove myself at all times, because there is always some one watching me either out of curiosity or disdain.
Looking back on my first week, it has definately been a difficult one. The physical exhaustion, the language barrier, the male dominated army like regime. Very very difficult. There have been rays of sunshine that have brightened my week and I count myself lucky because I’ve only had one afternoon where I came home in tears and seriously thought about not going back.
As one of the older and wiser chef’s said to me : You’ll get used it. Don’t worry mon petit, after two months it won’t bother you at all.
Hmmmm, I hope so…
I think your talent and determination will get you through the hard times. I have worked in many places in London where I was the only girl and I found having a sense of humour and a thick skin helps. It is very different from the US, with harassment policies, etc!
he is right. you’ll get used to it. it does amaze me how the system treats everybody differently and on that divide. no easy advice and no hard advice either. you’ll make it though and then you can tell your grandkids all about it.
Amy I’m on pins and needles to hear your updates on your experience and relaying it back to Gilles. We are so proud of you! You are paving the way for the future of women chefs and your stories and experience will help them immensly.
For now, its great to see you completely immersed in this new world and forging your place it in. I know you. You will definitely make an impression and more importanly, a difference. 🙂
Sorry, long comment coming up.
That’s the beauty of many European kitchens – everyone’s treated the same; male or female. They’re rough on you no matter who you are. Gay, straight; religious, prude; boy, girl. We’re all going to be fed to the lions – daily.
Sure, there’s loads of sexual (and other) humor; but at least there’s humor. We all share one bathroom; and we all share the mess. The hours get in the way for any guy (or gal) who wants time with their family.
Sounds just like the last place I worked in Madrid.
Don’t use your gender to “get out of” the nasty jobs; you’ll lose the respect of your peers. Do however accomodate your physical strength and get help with the giant stockpots. Don’t be butch; be a really competent cook.
You’re right, the restaurant kitchen is not set up for women at all; not for women separate from men. It’s set up for cooks.
Two notes: Ask the office if there’s another w.c. that you might use (upstairs?) – for the sake of privacy. Although my experience is that the female cooks, washers and wait-staff just as often barged in on me changing as vise versa. It is, after all, Europe – and we’re a tad more casual about body awareness.
Walking to and from the resto in your uniform is not a policy of your workplace; it is a French regulation. You can be cited and fined for endangering the public health. Although that’s really very unlikely.
I’ve worked as an engineer, another male-dominated profession, and out on the construction sites you’re very aware that you’re not “one of the guys.” But I found that being friendly and professional goes a long way to making things go smoother – I’m sure most of the guys want things to go well too! I really admire your strength and fortitude – and that’s a great pic!;)
Thanks for all encouragement!!! I can’t tell you how nice it is to come home at 11PM and read encouraging words.
Will – I can tell you have a lot of experience in Eurpean kitchens whereas mine is mainly in San Francisco and in London. I really appreciate you filing me in on the French regulations, I didn’t know it was illegal to wear your uniform out. However, on another note, there’s a reason why sexual harassment is illegal in the States.
And we wait impatiently for your 35 women / 1 man kitchen in your own 3 star restaurant 🙂
I have often filled the position of being the only woman in kitchens I’ve worked. I have worked for female amd male chefs, large restaurants and small. I was told early one, by another female line cook, that I would have to work twice as hard for half as much respect.
I have also worked for female dominated kitchens and I do not prefer them.
I think it’s important to talk about these inequalities as well as it is to understand that they are part of the business.
I feel, often, that it is my duty to tell people who will never understand the internal working of a professional kitchen about them. Because otherwise kitchens will continuously be filled with people who only have stars in their eyes, not those prepared with stamina and an uncompromising work ethic.
Incredible female chefs have paved your path, I look forward to you and I taking on the responsibility of paving the path for others after us.